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OZZY OSBOURNE
Patient Number 9

Epic (2022)
Rating: 6.5/10

To criticise an Ozzy Osbourne album feels a bit like having a row with your dad, a person you’ve grown up with and have so much respect for. I also don’t want to throw the sympathy vote out to who is arguably heavy metal’s most famous son, so I’ll tread carefully here in my review but as always will be extremely honest.

I haven’t loved an Ozzy album since No Rest For The Wicked (1988), although the tour was far less enjoyable. Meanwhile, the last Ozzy record I liked was No More Tears (1991) which appeared at a time when the metal genre was losing its strength, also diversifying greatly. Since then Ozzy’s career has been patchy to say the least as we’ve all watched the Prince Of Darkness become a television personality and somewhat of a cartoon character, but he’s always remained close to our heart.

Patient Number 9 is the great man’s 13th solo outing, and while it’s an improvement on the pretty awful Ordinary Man (2020) it suggests a man in a rush to get as much out as possible, hence the fact that the album drifts by with occasional effect such as on the Jeff Beck-driven title track, but mostly relies on too much melancholy.

Sure, I appreciate the process that goes on behind Ozzy’s recorded manifestations, but whereas much older, classier slabs may have played upon the more despairing side of the heavy metal spectrum there was always that devilish nature fused with a general feel on edginess, even with the ballads. For too long it feels as if Ozzy has been dwelling in misery and dabbling in despondency, and while I understand the fact the last few years, due to ill health, has not been great, I just want him to get that glint back in his eye rather than succumb to this synthetic, polished tripe whereby his overseers have paired him up with all manner of unmatchable musicians.

This time round we get Eric Clapton on ‘One Of Those Days’, but again there’s that downhearted trend to proceedings as the solo screams of hopelessness. In a sense then it’s nice to hear tracks such as the title cut and the grungy ‘Parasite’ and ‘Evil Shuffle’ (both the latter featuring Zakk Wylde), even though standard rock fare and polished by their overtly contemporary chorus there’s that devilish charm where Ozzy can be himself and the bass rattles with precision.

‘Dead & Gone’ is relatively crunchy but still too downheartedly reflective. When you hear Ozzy bark lyrics such as “The past is dead, the future’s haunted” I’m left wondering who is responsible for putting such prose out there? I’m not suggesting Mr. Osbourne is a puppet, but the dejection throughout this record is quite consuming. That’s not to say it’s an album bulging with despair. Thank the lord then for Tony Iommi (Black Sabbath) appearing on a brace of tracks, namely ‘Degradation Rules’ with its devious harmonica, and ‘No Escape From Now’ which is a slow-building monolith.

Sadly however, the fast few records have felt like lamentations; stark, brooding platters riddled with self-doubt and reflection. And while this record does feel more intense in parts, there’s still that collision of watery aesthetics and contemporary, almost soulless design such as on the washed out ‘A Thousand Shades’ (also featuring Jeff Beck), a mournfully Gothic testimony, or ‘Nothing Feels Right’ (another with Zakk Wylde).

I think what I’m trying to say is that I don’t want to be bombarded with Ozzy Osbourne songs / albums which seem obsessed with suggesting the end. Yes, the guy is in his 70s, but in a world that’s torn we need celebratory material from the elder statesmen that we’ve worshipped. I realise that the days of ‘Crazy Train’, ‘Flying High Again’, ‘Bark At The Moon’ and even ‘Shot In The Dark’ (although very much a cover) are long behind us, but Patient Number 9 feels like it needs more Iommi-infused Sabbathian darkness rather than being reliant on synthetic gloominess.

It’s wrong for any of us, however, to compare any of Ozzy’s albums because after those early classics so much has changed, but I do pray that he’ll be able to at least deliver another, more upbeat rock ‘n’ roll record before bowing out. This time round Ozzy’s guests have been more beneficial to what is a slightly glum and inconsistent opus, but I’m also thankful he’s got this far.

Neil Arnold

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