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ALICE COOPER
The Revenge Of Alice Cooper

earMUSIC (2025)
Rating: 7/10

Now that the prince of darkness Ozzy Osbourne (R.I.P.) has shuffled from this mortal realm, the onus must surely be on fellow theatrical shock rocker Alice Cooper to keep the fires burning. With a line-up featuring the surviving members of the original Alice Cooper 70s band, The Revenge Of Alice Cooper comes adorned in a wonderfully ghoulish cover art which, like many Alice releases, contradicts the content within somewhat.

I’m sure many Alice Cooper fans will dig this, the eighth full-length studio platter from the band (although Cooper’s 30th in total) and their first collaboration since 1973 outing Muscle Of Love. This is somewhat standard fare, give or take a few strong tracks. It is middle of the road rock that couldn’t say boo to a goose, let alone produce jump scares, but Alice brings a certain charm with those tongue-in-cheek sneers.

Of course, it’s great to hear Michael Bruce (rhythm guitar), Dennis Dunaway (bass) and Neal Smith (drums) reunited with Coop, and there’s even the inclusion of some previously unreleased guitar parts of former original member Glen Buxton, who passed away in 1997. The album also features the talents of three other lead guitarists: Rick Tedesco, Gyasi Heus and Robby Krieger. Krieger, best known for being the founding member of U.S. band The Doors, lends his skills to lead single ‘Black Mamba’.

Now, although I was somewhat excited for this album, I had my reservations in spite of being mildly impressed by ‘Black Mamba’ but underwhelmed by subsequent singles ‘Wild Ones’ and ‘Up All Night’. I feel a throb of guilt in the fact that I think this album is as flat as a pancake at times. Maybe it’s just Bob Ezrin’s production that dampens what should be excited spirits. It’s the same feelings I got when reviewing the last six Ozzy Osbourne albums, but, unlike a lot of reviewers, I’m here to be honest rather than suck rock n’ roll ass.

The Revenge… boasts 14 songs, so at a few minutes short of an hour it does feel a touch too long. The album kicks off with ‘Black Mamba’, written by Cooper, Bruce and producer Ezrin. It’s as spooky and sinister as the album gets, but it’s a strong start. Alice narrates in creepy fashion, “I think I’ll hide inside your bed sheets, coiled into the folds so white I’ll just watch you while you’re sleeping darling, and decide if I should bite”. It’s the sort of Halloween treat that wouldn’t seem out of place on Alice’s Constrictor (1986) or Raise Your Fist And Yell (1987) but bereft of Kane Roberts’ axe work. Led by a funky zap of bass the track struts cocksure as Alice croons, “I’m so beautiful to look at, but oh so dangerous to touch”. There’s a strong musty odour from the 70s as the combo creaks in black leather to the lead work of Krieger. The infectious “ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya” chorus is an instant earworm as the track plods with seductive menace. It’s a shame then that the rest of the album is less impactful.

The real star here is Dunaway. The way his bass runs like liquid gold through ‘Wild Ones’ is a joy to hear, but it’s not a track I have warmed to in spite of the solid chorus. ‘Up All Night’ is similarly generic, bolstered by a fizzy AC/DC riff and a bland but catchy chorus circa 1988, it’s already clear that any wisps of spookiness have been blown away. But in praise of the musicians assembled, so have the cobwebs.

There’s no doubt this is steady rock music, but there’s just too much mediocrity on offer. ‘Money Screams’, ‘Crap That Gets In The Way Of Your Dreams’, with its Kinks-esque riff steal, and late 50s groover ‘Inter Galactic Vagabond Blues’, are prime examples of what I perceive as filler cuts. In general, though, I feel like I’m listening to a mix of The Ramones and scenes from the movies The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) and Little Shop Of Horrors (1986).

At times there’s intrigue; ‘Blood On The Sun’ features a stomping AC/DC riff and a cosmic glam rock chorus. Meanwhile, the bluesy cover rendition of The Yardbirds’ ‘I Ain’t Done Wrong’, led by harmonica, is solid and dusty. However, there’s an inconsistency to this album. ‘Money Screams’ is a glammy stomper with a tough riff buzz, while ‘One Night Stand’ and ‘Kill The Flies’ with its 60s / 70s horror-themed musical vibe are fun, but I just don’t see myself as being devoted to heavy rotation.

Songs such as ‘What A Syd’ (the perfect soundtrack to any late night jazz-cum-burlesque club) irritate rather than excite, but I have to admit that there were many moments throughout this platter when my tapping foot betrayed by sceptical mind. Nice also to hear Glen Buxton’s guitar on ‘What Happened To You’, the track boasting a sleazy and punky edge.

I think that nostalgia may cloud a lot of people’s judgement here, but when the smoke clears, as it did very quickly for me, I concluded that while The Revenge Of Alice Cooper is a welcome return, it’s also a patchy record that could have benefited from being shorter. However, with the passing of Ozzy we really do need Mr Cooper to hang around for as long as possible, even if the once looming shadows are fading.

Neil Arnold

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