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Stale (2014)
Rating: 3/10

With names such as Rob Nasty and Jesse Kid I knew what was coming with Sweden’s Danger and their latest self-titled album. Yep, you guessed it; this is more hyped up glam-slam shock rock that spends all of its time pretending to be something it isn’t.

I’m sorry, but there is a bucket load of bands of this ilk doing the rounds, all dreaming that they are strolling down the Sunset Strip in LA surrounded by girls and swigging whiskey, but it’s just a modern parody made seemingly necessary by our want for the past and it just doesn’t bloody work.

Hell, these guys sure do have the look – big hair, tight lycra and even a hint of an American accent – but dudes, c’mon. This is music that’ll surely only appeal to people who have no clue as to who Hanoi Rocks, Mötley Crüe etc. were or are. I just don’t understand the appeal of a Swedish band singing songs about Hollywood or living the American dream when clearly they appear as something more manufactured.

And so it’s a case of sleaze-edged bubblegum metal which begins with the pompous strut of ‘D.C.A. Hollywood’; a tepid pastiche of influences and yet bereft of attitude or know-how which leaves me wondering if they’ve even listened to the bands they claim to be influenced by? For some it seems to be all about the image, and yet the look suggests a bunch of youths who’ve never spent the night sleeping in an alley for fear of messing that hair up and it is reflected in the squeaky sound.

‘Body To Body’ is a derivative glam rock stomp where the vocals are delivered with such a struggle as the band attempts to ape Mötley Crüe but just cannot even pull off mimicry. With its watery predictable plastic glam rock imitation-by-numbers – whether it’s the derivative ‘California Red’, the slow-building ‘On The Rocks’ or the shocking ‘Rockstar’ with its childlike structures and dreadful lyrics – I’m just gonna lay it on the table now and say that stuff like this isn’t far removed from teenage pop punk, but this is on another planet when compared to real glam / sleaze rock. Whether it’s the highly praised Crashdïet or the offensively inoffensive Reckless Love, there’s only so much a man can take when it comes to bands pissing on the past.

With many claiming that old school metal is back, I only have to present garbage like this to question the wisdom of that statement. Sure, I guess bands have to start from somewhere but when – perish the thought – The X Factor dreams up some sort of national TV contest for rock bands, then I’d expect stuff like Danger to be paraded around as eye candy for the teenage girls.

Neil Arnold

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